Saturday, 4 February 2012

Letters From Him (8)

He hugged me. The first time a boy, who really needed me, hugged me. I didn’t know what to do. It was all strange to me. He clanged on me, so tightly. I felt confused. I was speechless. No words to calm him down. His head laid on my shoulders and arms wrapped tightly around me.
“So... what are you going to do?” I asked Darren, slowing lifting his head. He still couldn’t believe that something like this would be happening in his life.
“I- I- just don’t know. I never treated her nicely before. I never really loved her before. I couldn’t bare her-“he couldn’t help it. He shook head in disbelief, walked up to the bridge and gaze himself down in the reflection.
“Six month Jena, only six months to make it up to her. There is no way I can make it up for her, when I treated my mom like garbage for four years, Jena. So what I’m I suppose to do?- Nothing.”His eyes were red. Perfect teeth grinding in anger.
“But, you can. If you show her that you still love her, she’ll know that there is someone out-“I stopped. Darren didn’t want to hear. He wanted to lock himself up in the dark. He flung his body and weakened his body to the ground. He was angry. He was angry with himself. He was angry with God.  “What’s the point Jena?!” I breathed in deeply and knelt down to him. Tapping his shoulders gently, his eyes were filled with tears. Tears that contain mixed emotion. Darren heart was filled with regret. If only he treated her more kindly. If only he helped her through the rough thorns. If only he showed her one thing that a mother needs, love. But he didn’t. He didn’t think it was necessary for him to do so. She never took responsibility. She never looked upon Darren nor did she shown loved to him. It was a cold relationship between him and his mother.
“Darren, the point is that she’ll know that you’ll still love her even though she has been a heavy drinker, drug addict and useless mother to you, but it doesn’t mean you have to be useless to her. You can show it to her. It’s not that hard Darren. She just need her son’s love and support”
Darren flung into my arms. He hugged me even more tightly. “Her cancer is getting worst Jenna. She didn’t tell me this for two month. Her hair has been falling off, she is sick. She barely eats much. She looked very weak and I, oh gosh- I’m such an idiot not noticing this.” He told me in such a weak voice, but strong in his heart.
“Well, six month to live is enough for you to cover up four years of hatred. I know that you are strong enough to go through this. Look at yourself Darren"
“Thank you Jenna, we just met for about a week and you make things meaningful to me. You are such a true friend” I felt at ease to that. I felt proud to myself, knowing that someone who needed support and advise came to me.
“She’s at the hospital, she collapse while taking her daily cigar- eh, how typical of her. I rushed her to the nearest hospital, Northmen Saint Hospital, and the doctor told me everything just about three hours I’d brought her there. I didn’t know what to do, I just came to you.”
“But, how did you know where I lived?” I asked him, quite confused.”Mackenzie gave the address to me. She doesn’t know. I have no other relation but her family.”
“Right and I thought that she has no other relation till you told me that she was your cousin. Darren everything is going to be okay, understand?”
“Right, everything is going to be okay.” He breathed in deeply, feeling fine with everything that he has gone through. He took hold of my hand. Firmly holding both of my hands, he gazed into my eyes. “Thank you Jena” Those hazel eyes just made me feel even sadder for him. I didn’t know somehow who that gorgeous, funny and smart had gone through such thing. I’ve been through mom’s death. It took me eight month to recover from depression, and I don’t want that to happen to someone as beautiful as him.  He hugged me one more time, I felt relieved. It was almost twelve. George and Jamie must have already arrived. But I didn’t care; I just wanted to spend the moment with him on that bridge, gazing at the stars shining brightly in the midnight sky.

“You’re a good friend, you know that Jena. I never expressed such things to anybody before, but to you, it felt easy.” He smiled and right away it melted my heart. “Thanks-I not really sure about that, but hey, things will work out.”
“Right,” Darren sighed but still gave out a smile. “See you tomorrow Jena?”
“Yeah, tomorrow.” Darren smile and walked away into the midnight mist. I stood there as he disappeared. It was already 12.30, and I was needed to go home.

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