Sunday, 31 March 2013

Leap - Chapter Two

“Why did your mom died?” I knew the answer.
“You know why she died Lucy. Don’t act stupid.”
“I’m not being stupid. I’m asking. Is it hard just to answer back like a normal human being?” I’m pissed off with his attitude.
“A normal human being won’t ask such questions if she knew. You know very well why she died. You witnessed it yourself didn’t you?” He was at rage. Good.
“And you know too. Can’t you just move on and learn something from it? Like learning that life is too short and don’t get too attached?”
We were communicating without eye contact. It felt good to talk again but not like this. I want him to realize that he’s actually killing himself with the past. I want to have our friendship back. I love Danny. I don’t want to let him go because of a loss of a human being.

“Lucy Trace, how could you be so thoughtless?” Danny turned to me. Disbelief in his eyes could be read.
Turning to the path where our eyes met, I look deep into it. I want him to understand.
“I don’t like pretending Danny,” I said.
“Me neither” and he left. He walked out into the pouring without signs of emotion. Rage, regrets, sorrow,  -nothing. He held onto his sleeves tightly as he shivered with cold, walking the direction to his home. I’ve known him for such a long time, has he forgotten? He hates the rain. But the rain is where he could cry and tears would be washed away.

Forgive me.

“Things still hasn’t work out between you and Danny?”
Nia. She’s my friend. The closest one I got next to line to Danny. She’s Asian. Short haired, has a tomboy look and smokes. Yeah, smoking is bad for our health, which was what I told her the first time we met. But, what a smart ass I was to say that when at that moment she saw the scars from my previous cuts and stated out
“smoking relief stress that I have within me, it doesn’t show as much as how your cutting habits shows”
That shut me up. At first I wouldn’t thought we would be talking after that incident, but she said I’m her type of people and she took me as her friend. Even with the weirdness and smoking that was going on, she couldn’t be a better friend than Danny would.
Mom doesn’t like me being around her, she thinks that Nia brings bad influence to me. But believe me; I could have gone worse than cutting my wrists. I could go anorexic; run away from home, murder someone, or even worst –commit suicide. So, Mom should just let me be. Nia is cool, friendly and super reliable.

“Nope, same as ever” I answered back while scribbling on the social study sheets.
“Hold on, let me get it straight, Danny has been your friend like what? Since birth? And his mom died three years ago and now he’s acting like he doesn’t really know you huh?” Nia whispered. Mr Cullum has sharp ears; we didn’t want him hearing this conversation and go digging into our business. That’s the main prior why some teachers don’t like him. Neither do students.
I nodded.
“Damn he’s ungrateful.” She shook her head with contempt. The bell rang, and it was recess. We gathered all our things, headed out into the bustling hall ways.
“I’ve tried Nia, seriously I have. Don’t you see how hard it is to bring this all back together…” I said slowly, my heart was pounding hard behind the books that I pressed against my chest with.
“Then, stop trying. He’ll come crawling back Lucy. No biggie right?” she said with full slumber. She’s a tomboy; I get it how this girlish feeling isn’t something she’s aware off.

“It’s his fault right?” she said. We were walking towards our lockers. First stop was hers since it was the nearest.
“Erm, I don’t know. At times I believe it’s mine. But then I would see it as his entire fault. He won’t cooperate.” I answered back. When we reached to Nia’s locker, Nia placed her books in and slammed it shut. Then we walked over to mine.
“So what if his mom died. Everybody will eventually have their turn to feel the moment of breathing for the last time”
“She didn’t just died…”
“You mean something else happened than just dying?” She looked shocked. I didn’t saw that coming.
We finally reached to my locker. Slowly I shoved in all the stuff I had carrying with me into it. I shut it and then leaned against it.
It took me a moment there where I sighed longer than the usual.
“Yes, something else happened that night.” I spoke up softly.
“Whoa, shocker”
“Nia, it’s more than a friendship. I used to love him… like the love; love kind.” I said slowly.

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