Thursday, 19 December 2013

Thank You Allah, Thank you.


Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need but take less than you give?
Could you close everyday without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.
-Never Let Go (The Notebook)

Assalamualaikum and hello.


UPSR. I've only gotten three years to master up everything after coming back. My B. Melayu sucked. I've been hopeless in school work at times but I've always done them, made sure I did my best in everything. Tried to be social, be close with the teachers, be brave. When the day came, I cried because I thought I wasn't ready to take the test. And when the B.M paper was first, I felt like crying in the class. The paper was darn hard. And I felt like I won't get the 5A's. Mum said it was okay, that she was proud of me, dad said it's okay, I did my very best. And when the results came out, my name was at the further back, I cried everytime I saw someone cry. I cried when I saw teachers hugging their sons and daughters. And my name was called.
Probably just 4 or 3 A's. I thought to myself. And I got up on the stage, salam my teacher, she said 'tahniah'. I haven't look at my slip yet. I got down, looked at it and I cried. I was speechless. I was overwhelmed. And to that I promised myself, to be a better person, remember God always, seek His help in anything.

5A's.

PMR. I stressed out alot. The whole three years. Family problems, self-esteem, my OCD, issues with being anti-social and stuff. Form one. I was the kid who was quiet. 'The sombong'. The stuck up. Form two. I got out of my shell, helped out everybody who wanted my help. Tried my best to be friendlier. Form Three. I loved everyone. I work hard on my studies. Slacked at home. Focused at school. I got close with seniors, juniors, and classmates. I had problems too. But not as much.
Some subjects made me skeptical about myself. The whole year I had problems with KH. But I did my best, tried to get every knowledge from the teacher. And I'm thankful. The day came, I was nervous but not as nervous as UPSR. I didn't cry, I was calm. I know I knew everything needed.
I did cry on two papers. Agama. I couldn't get anything in my head. I was super nervous. Science. I became skeptical. Some answers were just so difficult to choose. A day before the results came out. I wasn't nervous, at one point I believed I'd get 8A's, and then at another point I really didn't care.
I came late today for the results, they just started out 8A's and the rest was already announced. I asked Aisyah, whether my name got called or not, and she said not yet.
"You'll get 8As" she said to me, but I just ignored. I just talked to her throughout the name callings, I didn't want to focus on the results. I was nervous. I kept the poker face. And my name got called last. I was happy, but not over excited. I was happy, because I was thankful. I didn't show much excitement, I just smiled when I needed to, I was happy for the others too, hugged them, and gave them some motivations.

8As.

I don't need to jump with over joy. I just needed to be thankful. I know I gave my 100%. Allah pays back to the ones who deserves them. Don't call me cocky. I have my own ways. I don't want to rub it on other people faces. When people are happy for their success, don't go making everything negative. You're just making me depress and I feel like it's just no point in trying if you'll just going to be like that every time.

Thank you, my teachers, my friends, my family. Thank you.

Congratulations. Everybody, congrats xo

Hey, Amira, I promised you an appreciation post. Well, I just wanted to say, though the first time we meet it was kinda awkward. You being my sisters friends, two years younger than me but you're always supportive. Saying the best things to cheer me up, making me feel loved. Thank you, when you're gone back to your hometown, I hope we're always in touch. Stay healthy, be happy, I love you xoxo

Love S.A. xo

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