Friday, 2 May 2014

Worn Wings - Chapter Seven





The bell rang and I sighed out in relief. I packed my Literature book, shoved in my paper into my bag pack. As I rushed myself to get out from the class, Mr Lockwood stopped me. I tried my best to not glare at him, “Here is your detention slip, see you after school” and he smirked at me. I snatched the paper and in flared my nostrils. “Looking forward to it” I mumbled and I walked out of the class. I tried to calm myself down. I’m getting all worked up easily and getting sensitive to the little things. Yes, it’s my fault to fall asleep in class but – does he have to embarrass me like that? And, Jason Bentley… where did he came from? My mind kept on playing with my heart. It aches as much as my life. The things that meant nothing to them mean everything to me. I don’t get why people are so blind to see that sometime a girl like me, quite in their eyes is actually a girl that is fragile enough to break any moment now? My legs started to shake and my dry lips started trembling.

Please, don’t. I whispered to myself. I know I shouldn’t cry. It’s stupid. Just plane typical me crying for something dumb and irrelevant.  I go up to my locker to pack my books for the next period. As I opened up my locker I sniffed silently, and constantly wiping my eyes. I took my Geography text book and notes; slid them neatly in my bag and zipped it. I slung it over my shoulders and I told myself to keep strong, life will be better. 
Walking in the class, I wasn’t the first this time, I was the last. But the teacher hasn’t arrived in yet. There was an empty table next to the window. I sat down and took out the books; put them nicely on my table alongside with a pen. I look around at the class. Everybody had things to do. They had a life and I was invisible to them. Nobody came up to me. But I didn’t care. I was used to it. I looked to my left; where the outside was. I wanted to be there so badly at that moment. I wanted to forget life. I wanted to be free of being so miserable and lonely.
As I kept on staring at the outside from the place I was held back in, I saw the bird. The bird landed right there on the window pane. It has a white beak and a black head. Its body is covered with brown-black feathers. It tapped on my window, and it made me think about Elliot. How we first met as stranger at the park. How I was fond with his greyish-blue eyes. I closed my eyes and recalled that day.

“They’re grosbeaks” he said. He came up from nowhere. But I wasn’t afraid. I thought; at that moment he was an angel sent by God. God wanted me to have a companion.
“Do you know what they symbolize?” He asked me. Of course I didn’t know, but –I was curious to know. What did they mean?
“They symbolize the healing of the heart,” 

Those words still linger inside my head. It was like the perfect words for the perfect time. I breathed in and exhaled out the carbon dioxide. I open my eyes, the grosbeak was still there. I stared at it and two seconds later it flew away. Then the teacher came in. And I couldn’t focus throughout the lesson. My mind kept on playing back my encounters with Elliot. He was there at the hospital when Dad got into the accident, he came when I was crying silently with my face covered. I let him in, I let him get close to me. And I realized too that his shirt was blood stained. I knew he was the kid that helped called for the ambulance as he tried to get Dad out of the car. And I knew he gave his number to me and he’s still waiting for mine. And these thoughts were like this till the school recess bell rang. I was the last to get in and by that I will be the last to get out. I don’t eat during recess, so what I’ll do is go to the library where there was practically no one there. I went there and as I entered, fumes of untouched books evacuated my lungs. I sat down at the furthest end of the library and took out my sketching pad.
And I started to draw the grosbeak.
By time I was about to do my final touches, someone came at me and awaken the demons in me.
“Nice drawing, what is that?” he pulled out a chair in front of me and sat down. I closed my sketch book and glared at him. “It’s nothing for you to know about” I said coldly at him. He just smiled and I felt annoyed. Does he have some sort of problem?
“Why are you here?” I asked with an unpleasing tone.
“I don’t know, it’s always nice to meet the same customer again” he chuckled.
“Look, Jason Bluntly or whatever your name is –“
“Jason Bentley” he cut me off.
“It was just a onetime thing; people like me coming to a coffee shop. I won’t be going there anymore” I said and I started packing up.

“Hey, hey” Jason stood up from the chair when I started leaving.
“What?” I said angrily.
“Look, Amelia. I just want to give this back” and took out the same five dollar bill. He grabbed my arm and placed the bill onto my palm.

“Don’t you dare give it back. I said the coffee was on me, can’t you listen?” and he slowly closed the money with my fingers. I stared at him, not knowing what to do next. He let go of my hand and walked out of the library. “See you after school!” Jason said in a cheery voice. I snarled as I look at the 5 dollar bill that was in the palm of my hand. I shoved it in my pocket of my school uniform and walked out to the next period.
 .................................................................................................................................................................

Five periods over;  Chemistry; Algebra and Social Studies. Before I could step in the detention class, I called Mom to tell her that I will be coming home late today.
“Oh honey, you have to tell Mrs Mane’s son that. He’ll be coming in ten minutes.”
“Can’t you not cancel it right now and pick me up later?” I pleaded.
“I can’t, I have to meet with Executive Officer and then visit your father”
“But –but Mom, please?” I did my very best to sound at unease.
“I’m very sorry Amelia. I got to go now. Look he’ll come any minutes later, ask him to do you a favor so that he can just pick you up later okay hun?” and Mom hung up.
I grunted out in frustration. My cheeks bloomed red. Heat started flowing up. I just don’t get it. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t it go the way I want?

And Jason came to me.

“Hey… something’s up?” He touched me by the shoulder and I shoved him away.
“Hey, hey” he touched me by both shoulders and I shrugged away. I looked down.
 
 My eyes were already filled with tears. And one tear dropped to the ground. I wanted to run away so badly, away from every shit and mess. Jason tilted my head up. He hold my face with his palms as he wiped my tears.

“Amelia, is there something wrong that you want to share with me?” he asked me in a gentle tone. I looked at him with my teary eyes. I kept flushing out useless tears and Jason kept wiping them. Jason just looked at me as he tried to support my head with his hands. I looked at him carefully. His eyes, they were green. His hair was up so I could see them clearly. He had a little freckle on his cheeks.
And I pushed him away.

“Please –just go away” I pleaded. I let my guard down. I burst out crying as I knelt to the ground.
And Jason tried to pick me up. I pushed him away once again and screamed.
“Can’t you not?! I don’t even know you!”

And he came to me. He hugged me again. He hushed me. He patted my back. And he felt different. He wasn’t Jason.

“Endurance, endurance, endurance is what Bobolink teaches.” And his voice soothed me.
Elliot came. Elliot Mane is whom I need.

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