Wednesday, 25 June 2014

The Chandelier - Chapter 1

Chandelier, a cover, played through the purple mini speakers that I plugged to my old hand-me-down laptop. My lips synced to the lyrics and my body swayed lightly when it hit the chorus. And I know I should focus on the packing but after all the body movement just like the song itself, I laid down on my bed and rested my head on my single pillow. I pulled out my phone from the pocket and scrolled down the Facebook feeds. After some time scrolling and scrolling the feeds and none of them were from Kayla Hart; I decided to go to her profile instead. The first thing I noticed was that she had changed her profile picture an hour ago and it was no surprise to me. She displayed a picture of her sun bathing at the local beach while holding her lemonade; always watching over her figure I'd say. Her previous picture was to be said her favorite – a picture of us during Halloween. I swore that when I was in that over-sized pumpkin costume; she said I looked the cutest and I couldn't get cuter than that. She took a picture of us both; I as a pumpkin while she was a vampire. And we made the picture looked humorous and me not looking stupid by posing into a scene where the vampire sucked into the pumpkin. Kayla absolutely loved the picture that as soon as we headed home from the Ash Pierre's Halloween party, she uploaded it and made it as her Facebook profile picture, as soon she uploaded it she called me and said she never wanted to put it down. But I guess some things aren't meant to be kept.
I checked her relationship status and had already been changed to 'In a relationship with Ashton Pierre' and I remembered I had yet to change mine. I went to my profile and changed my relationship status of 'In a relationship with Kayla Hart' to 'Single'. I sighed. So then I decided to make my relationship status a private. I sighed out more and decided to log out from Facebook and continued with the packing up. I started to pack my Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift poster down and my book collection in a box that has a print stating out 'Fragile'. When I started to lip sync to Chandelier, Bails barged in my room. She looked all sad and stressed out as she fled to my bed and burying her face into my ONLY pillow. She started screaming and kicking all about, for sure I am embarrassed to have such sister who is two years older than I was.
I'm sure you have your own room and bed to go lunatic on, I guessed you got high and came here instead” I said as I continued to fold and stack my clothes that I will later on pack. “You don't know how I feel Elliot. This year was supposedly to be my greatest year, it's my senior year” “I know” “And my friends will miss out all the awesome that I was gonna contribute making it the senior year unforgettable” “I know” “And the cute boys, they don't have the chance to ask me out for senior prom!” “I know.” Bails started to cry into my pillow and I rolled my eyes. She had been telling me the same things about how her senior year at my step-dad's will ruin her life forever and it won't be the same for her because her popularity will only stay at Pitchers High. I'm looking forward to start a new life at a new town, new high school and a new dad -not like my sister who's getting all depressed. “It's all great for you Elliot, you have nothing here”. Ouch. I did have something. That something left me. So I'm practically left bare and exposed.
Kayla might had dumped me, but I still have a chance” I said as I taped up the boxes. Bails sat straight up from my pillow and snarled at me. “Are you seriously saying that Kayla Hart will dump Ash a.k.a Hottie Pierre to get back to you when she dumped you for him and that the fact the relationship will rebound even when we're going to leave this town in just a couple of days?” Bails furrowed her brows. I shrugged. In my head I told myself maybe and my heart said you can do it. Bails sighed, she stood up and went to me. “Look Elliot, I know you guys dated for two years and she was your first girlfriend, but she was a bitch to you. She cheated on you Elliot,” Bailey's eyes locked onto mine. All her stress was now on me, “People make mistakes” I said to her. “Elliot, who on earth would do such mistakes and allegedly do it multiples of times behind your back until you saw it in front of your eyes? Elliot...” Bails sighed. “You're better than she will ever be. Let her go.” I shrugged again.
Bails just left the door. She came in being worried of her senior year and exited being the concerned sister. I knew that some of the things said by Bails was true but at the same time, Kayla Hart can't possibly have no love for me after two years being together. And I was the one that said the L word first. I was being brave because I never said the L word to any girl before besides my mother, grandmother and maybe my sister. And that night she looked beautiful dressed all casual and the festival made her happy, so she looked more beautiful. I had the balls to asked her out, and I was just going to forget about me asking her out if she turned it down. But the thing was she didn't. She said yes. And I was excited but nervous at the same time. I've never been shakier in my life. Things happened, we sparked up the night and it was official – we were dating.
I knew I wasn't experienced being in a relationship, it was my first and Kayla was my first love -that so what I thought. I thought that since we had been with each for two years meant that I was doing well. That things between us was doing just great and I was a good boyfriend to her.
A month ago it was supposedly to be our 2nd year anniversary. We planned it all out, I was going to wear my blazer over a stripped tee, and Kayla was to be dressed up in a nice floral dress. An hour before we were going to meet up, I went to the fancy restaurant that Mom helped chipped in and asked for a surprise performance of The Acoustic Hats that was in town for their gig. I had sweaty palms and my heart raced, I wanted it to be special and that Kayla knew that she was meant to be appreciated. So I waited an hour early, and by every minute, every second, I gave out long sighs and deep breaths. And when the time was up, I had my eye on the entrance door, hoping for the girl that I declared the L word to two years ago would walk through the door looking stunning as she always did.
And I saw long curls drape over the pale floral dress, so I held on my breath and prayed that I won't say anything stupid and look stupid. She walked in and I was smiling. But she wasn't. She looked nervous and I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one feeling like I was on a deathbed. She came to me, and she held my hands and sat me down. I felt confused because she looked confused and she started crying and everybody looked at us and I tried to calm her down but she just ran out. I followed suit and she hugged me tightly, apologizing repeatedly. I became more concerned and confused; so I asked whether anything was going wrong or whether I did anything wrong. Kayla shook her head, trying hard to breathe properly and then she told me something that kicked me hard in the curb. “This relationship is over, I don't love you anymore, I love Ash now” and Ash turned up out of the blue. I felt dumbfounded as Kayla walked over to Ash Pierre's car and they drove off.
And seconds later it hit me, we were no longer in a relationship. I felt numb and I wanted answers from Kayla but she never pick up my calls nor did reply my SMS. Until now I don't have a clue what I did wrong for her not to love me anymore and move on to Ash Pierre. And I need answers before I move. Maybe get Kayla back. I don't really know what the outcome will be. I know some might ask me why didn't I just go up to her and scream for reasons Kayla to dump me. But I never really had the accurate size of balls to ask her, let alone go up to her because her shoulders and hip are constantly wrapped with the muscular arm and hands of Ash Pierre.
15 minutes later, everything was packed. My room was 89 percent empty. I went downstairs and asked Mom whether I could head out for a walk and be back before dinner. Mom gave me her blessings and Bails asked me to get a six-pack soda on the way back home. I walked out in my jacket, old jeans and black Converse. A couple of blocks away there was 7Eleven, the only convenience store around. I walked in and took hold of lemonade fizz that was at the back and then I went to front aisle for a packet of crisps. When I was done choosing a bag of Doritos, I walked up front to the counter with the sodas and a bag of crisps in both hands. I paid my total of $20.80 and when I wanted to head out Kayla walked in in her coat over a tank top and skinny jeans. Our eyes met, and she looked at me like we never met before. I said hi but she just ignored and went straight to the counter, “One Marlboro” she asked. The lady glared at Kayla for a second before she asked for her identification card. Kayla took out her purse and pulled out her ID card. I knew it was a fake ID, because she wasn't even near to age restriction to purchase cigarettes. The lady looked closely at her ID, and Kayla just stood there dull waiting for her packet. “Can I get my Marlboro yet?” she asked coldly. The lady grunted as she took one off the counter and pushed it across to her. Kayla paid her packet, “Thanks” and she took it, then walking out. I followed her as I juggled with the sodas and crisps.
I walked outside and I saw Kayla at the corner of the enclosed buildings. She stood there lighting up her cigarette and inhaled the tobacco, nicotine, tar, and toxic combined. She then sat down at the bench that was nearby and I walked up to her. She didn't looked up, she just moved aside as she smoked another. “Didn't knew you smoked” I said, placing my purchased items beside me. “Well, I've done lots of things you didn't knew off” Kayla said. She took out a cigarette from her newly purchased packet and hand it to me. “I shouldn't” I said, looking at the handed cigarette that Kayla was holding. “Okay then, try mine instead” she took the cigarette that lit between her teeth and hand it to me. I looked at it and I was afraid to just hold on to it. “Go on,” she smiled. God, it had been a month since I saw her smile like that to me. I hesitated at first because I knew what the outcome of smoking a cigarette was. You'll get addicted, your health is ruined and your life-span is shortened.
I placed them in my mouth, and inhaled. Fume of hot smoke and awful taste occupied my mouth, through my esophagus and then in my lungs. I tried not the cough, but I did anyways and Kayla smiled. “Good huh?” she asked. “No, it's awful” I said handing back the cigarette to her, getting a little bit light headed. “Who knew what is awful to them can taste so good” she smiled and smoked. I looked at her, gazing at her every motions and movements and the smoke that blew out from her mouth. I said, “Just like our relationship?” I started to wonder. Kayla looked at me with confusion, and I continued saying “You never really loved me Kayla, isn't it?” I slowly asked. Kayla threw her finish cigarette butt. She sighed and took hold of my hands, and coughed, and then pushed up my chin so that my eyes met hers. “Elliot, look... I do, I just didn't want to continue hurting you without you even realizing it. I cheated on you, aren't you even bothered to fact that I cheated on you since that Halloween party? I loved you, but at the same time I loved Ash” Kayla let go of my hands and slip hers in her pocket.
So there is no way for us to be a us?”
No, Elliot, I don't think that will happen”
I genuinely thought we had it, you know that connection”
I'm sorry Elliot. I really am sorry and I don't expect you to forgive me, it's okay if you hate me till forever”
Forever is a very long time.”
Yeah, it is.”
I don't know how I can hate you for forever”
Okay...I'll try.”
But Elliot, let me say this, you did made me happy and you were there when I needed somebody”
Oh, yeah?” I said softly, giving a little hope that I might still at least have a shot of getting her back.
Yeah. I just hope for the best Elliot when you move later on. I mean that”
I hope I do too,”
Kayla kissed me on my cheeks. And by what I felt it was a friend kind of kiss not the one 'I love you' kiss on the cheeks. She stood up and she pulled out her packet.
Here, as a farewell gift” she handed me a cigarette. I took it and thanked her. She smiled slightly and left. I sat there on the bench with a six-pack soda, a bag of Doritos and a gift from the girl that I loved but never replied back my love. I guess she was right, sometimes what is awful to us can taste so good. For instance, Kayla was cheated on me without me realizing it and that is far from awful, it's terrible, but it was good during the moment I didn't knew about it. Sometimes, when I open up my heart; gave out my guts; it's not worth it. Because you just don't know when you're going to get hurt or hurt somebody else. And Kayla hurt me, she used me, and I'm just going to close my heart to prevent another. And that's a final.

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