Saturday, 25 April 2015

Backdoor Decade - Chapter 1

I rarely go to the library, but somehow, something made my legs walk through the doors of musk odor and floating dust. What if I hadn't made push the doors, what if I just walked passed by? But, somehow I chose to enter the library, and if I was going to tell my kids the story how I met him, I'd say the library. But it was more than just the library, it was at school, at the canteen, at the field, after school. This isn't going to be a love story how the girl gets the guy, but the story of a girl who falls hard and can't get up. The story of how it all started at library and heart beats faster than it normally would.

So, I entered the library that was across the local shops. My father was out late to work and I promised to study. I sat down at the table and pulled out my books, pens and calculator. As I busied myself, this slightly deep voice asked, “hey, can you teach me maths?” I looked up and it was the face of a person I knew very well. “Yeah sure, take a seat.” Aden took a seat in front of me and pushed his book towards me. He gave me his pencil to work out the equations, and as I was about to explain he started chuckling. “Gosh, why are your hands shaking?” he laughed. I sweated and just faked a laugh, “I feel cold I guess”, my voice stuttering as I tried my best to hold onto the pencil properly. “Look, it's shaking again,” he laughed. My heart was at a rapid pace and I was very nervous to teach him maths.

Well, the the numbers in the first row will be multiplied in the first column” I said as I tried to breath properly. The hour passed, and I was needed to head home. I leaved him at the library without a goodbye, just nodded and left. Sure this is an awkward moment, but what can you do when you have fallen for this guy for over five years already? I walked home, and my mind played back the situation at the library. The way he smiled and the way he laughed, to others it's adorable but to me it's perfection. As I finally reached home, thunder started to strike and rain poured down, “finally,” I whispered.

I head upstairs to my room and changed into something comfortable. I switched on the laptop and the AC. The curtains were drawn and the room was semi dark. It felt like my holy grail.

Do you know what felt perfect?

It's not that perfect score or the perfect dress, but it's that perfect moment. The moment when you have that perfect song hooked on your ears, and the thunder outside your house is louder than the silent music as the room you're in is vibrating because of the continues thunder, and there's a occasional light reflecting on the wall and you just feel like it's the perfect thing because it almost seem like a good music video and you're the main actor.

There's something about the rain that I don't know about makes me feel so – safe? All week long it's striking hot and then all of the sudden rain started to pour. There's a sense of relief someone, you know? Like people can go “hey it's raining,” and start complaining how wet their shoes are but for me it's like a blanket around me, tight and warm. My mind is always the clearest during the rain, the sound of something as if alive, the weather makes you drowsy and you get the best sleep you ever had throughout the whole week. And to top it all of of the perfect moment, is when something makes your heart beat faster than its normal rate, that feeling in your stomach that churns and your chest feels tight but you're still breathing?

Hey 4.30 pm
Hey 4.31 pm

Thanks for teaching me maths, I really suck at it, sorry for troubling you 4.31 pm

No problem, hey, you weren't that bad 4.32 pm
Haha, well lucky you, you're smart already 4.32 pm

Nah, I'm not. I just... like maths I guess? 4.33 pm

That means you're smart haha thank you again 4.34 pm

Anytime Aden 4.34 pm

Hey, can I tell you something? 4.34 pm

The sentence made me want to grab my inhaler. The possibility of what he wanted to say. Does he like me back? Oh, stop dreaming Hailey you're full of bullshit.

Sure 4.36 pm

Aden was no longer online, he was gone. And my mind started creating scenarios of the things he could have wanted to tell me about. I put my phone away into the drawer because just looking at it made me anxious. I increased the volume of the music to block out the thunder. I just wanted to be at peace now.

The next day at school, I was just waiting outside of class, waiting for Blu to come out and there he was, as he walked passed me and all I could do was stare. The guy that wanted to tell me something was currently heading to the cafeteria.

Let's go now,” Blu came out as she swung her bag around her left shoulder, shuffling her shirt down. I stop my stare and followed suit as we walked towards the cafeteria. When we arrived, pretty much all the tables were seated and the line was long.

“Oh God, I freaking hate the line” Blu grunted as she took out her purse checking her money.
“Then you gotta get your butt out faster” I smirked as we walked towards the line. “I can't, the old hag drags his lesson even after the bell. God I'm annoyed,” Blu felt her stomach “– and hungry, let's line up now before it gets longer” Blu pulled my arm and walked me to the line as we took our trays along the way. We lined up, fifteen more people to go until it's our turn to pick what we want. The food here are excellent, none of that mystery meat bullshit. But the line and the service is just too slow to match up the excellency of the food. Soon, I heard people lining up behind me and them grunting as much Blu did. Our turn was up, and Blu took whatever and how much she could because she doesn't want to line up for seconds. I took a burger, a banana and a fruit juice.

That will be $5.20” the cafeteria lady said with bluntness in her eyes. I took out a fifty dollar bill and handed it out but she just stared at it, “What's with you kids and your money, don't you have $5.20?” a tone of mockery was in her ratchet throat. “I only have this” I said still handing out the fifty dollar. “Then go find $5.20” her eyes blank as she said that. I looked for Blu but she was already long gone at the table, finally I swore beneath my breath to how annoyed I was to this situation.

Here, I'll pay for us both” someone handed out a ten dollar bill and he was Aden West. “Thank you sweetie,” the hippo of a lady gave her million dollar smile to him. My heart sank. I felt my lungs stop functioning. He was behind me all along? I took my tray and quickly go and find Blu.

God, Hailey what took you so long, I'm almost done.”
A little business taken care of” I said as I sat down.
Then suddenly I felt a little vibration in my pocket. I pulled out my phone and turned it on. The first thing that pop was a message from Aden. I looked up to where he was sitting, across the table from me.

Hey 10.15 am

Hey? 10.15 am

Aden look up at me as we made eye contact from across the room. What was he doing? Why was tormenting me? Then there was another vibration,

Can I sit over there? 10.16 am

He smiled at me, his charming looks everything about him made me nervous.

Why not 10.17 am

Aden stood up with his tray and started walking over. My palm started to sweat, and Blu blurted “hey what's wrong with your hands?” I looked down at them and sure enough they were shaking.

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